How far is too far? What does the Bible say about sex before marriage? Maybe it would be better just to have arranged marriages...or not.

The whole area of sex and how to handle it can be a great struggle for today's singles. Women and men are getting married later and later, with the average age being somewhere around 25 years old. This means that the average person is going to be single for quite some time (we're talking an average of 10 to 15 years, ouch!) as they go through school, work, and establish themselves in the world. Things are definitely different from Biblical days when you were married almost as soon, if not before, you hit puberty.

• First, it's acknowledged that monogomy, and abstinence (not having sex) until marriage is the safest way to go. STD's infect thousands each day, but this does not deter most people from having sex.
• "Sexual activity performed privately by consenting adults should not be subject to legal sanctions" (from the UUA. The basics of this view are that if two people love each other enough then it is ok. This view would likely propose that the Bible's statements on sex are for a society where people got married at a very young age and in a day when they didn't have as much knowledge as we do on sex, and thus the Biblical view on sex is not normative for us today.
• Statistics say 63% of youth, aged 14 to 21, are sexually active, and thus why not join the crowd?(Reference) One thing to consider is that Jesus went against the norms, and statistics do not necessarily set moral standards.
• Others, however, say a maximum sexual relationship exists where mutual communication, understanding, affection, and trust have formed, and two people have committed themselves to each other in a permanent marital relationship. "The biblical standard puts sex within the fidelity and security of marriage...." (Here is a more in depth analysis of this view).

• How does getting married later in life compared to Biblical times affect our view and practice of marriage?
• Is sex within marriage better on the whole than sex outside of marriage?
• What is meant today by the words adultery and sexual immorality?

In looking at this topic I have found that the Scriptures and reason speak univocally about this topic. The underlying theme throughout the Bible regarding marriage seems to be one of commitment, trust, and intimacy. Sex is one of the gifts God has given us to express those things in a way that our words often fail us. Sex, at its best and as God intended it, is not just a physical act; rather it is an experience involving all of two people: their bodies, souls, and minds. Because sex is so intimate it has been reserved for a relationship where there is trust and commitment. Love is great, but a major part of love is the willingness to love the other for life, even during the times that the "emotions" of love will come and go. This is what makes marriage so important; it is a public commitment to another person before others.

The New Testament writers and Jesus realize this when they wrote of not engaging in sexual immorality. This is expressed clearly in Paul's writing to the Corinthians (another society that struggled quite a bit with sexual issues): "Run away from sexual sin! No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body." (1 Cor. 6:18, NLT). Throughout the New Testament the sexual union of two people is held as a sacred thing to be done in the context of marriage.

Furthermore, reason suggests that the greatest intimacy will be gained if a person only shares themselves sexually with one person. Also, I think trust would be harder to gain and keep between two people if one or both of them have had sex with others. So, based on the Bible and a little reason the best sex appears to be reserved for those who save it for marriage.