I’ve been asked by Kelly to give a blurb on what God is teaching me through my one-on-one hang-out time with some of the guys from Kids Club. Three categories come to mind: the difficult, the good, and the growth.
First, the difficult. Perhaps the lowest point thus far in Kids Club was during a one-on-one afternoon with Adrian. He is the kind of guy I never would have been able to hang out with in 6th grade: excellent skater, cool, and always acting a bit old for his age. This particular afternoon, for a reason I have yet to determine, he was in a particularly foul mood. His way of dealing with it was to shut down and quit responding to any question I might pose. The conversation went something like:
Me: what’s wrong? ... silence
Me: want to go to McDonalds? ... silence
Me: well then let’s head home, we’ll hang out there ok? ... silence
Me (now starting to feel pretty dumb): ok, I’m going to play a little DDR, why don’t you join in? (now feeling even dumber as I dance by myself) ... of course more silence.
And that’s how our hour went until I dropped him off in silence. I was dejected and sure I had seen the last of our hang-out times. But kids are more resilient than we often are, and next week he was calling me to ask if it was time to hang out.
Another difficulty is trying to find a couple hours in the midst of a busy week of school and work to hang out with them. To be honest, I often find myself dreading trying to figure out how I’m going to get out of work a bit early when Monday rolls around. And once we do get together I find it difficult to get beyond the “What? yeah.” and the “What? nah.” answers that are doled out by them to my questions. Plus, attention spans are awful short in 6th grade. Example:
Me: Did you know your shirt has a picture of Jesus? The crucifixion on the back is from when he died for…
Martin (peering into his burrito): Dude, my burrito has chicken in it!
Nonetheless, it somehow works out that when Friday rolls around and I’m looking back over the week, Monday hang-outs stand out as a high-point in my week. Which leads into the good.
Sometimes the hang-out times go really well. I get to see the guys get a thrill out of doing something new when we go geocaching. Rich conversations happen. Just recently, one of my guys had to go to court in order to formally cement his decision to live with his mother. He was afraid of what his father might say or think. I had the privilege of being the sounding board for what he was going to say and praying with him that God would give him the strength he needed. It was a difficult conversation and I felt way out of my league as I listened to some of his family’s problems. However, we got to see our prayer answered when the court hearing went smoothly a couple weeks later.
Finally, I’ve found that the kids seem to enjoy and actually look forward to hanging out. In fact, I will at times get a phone call from them when I’m at work asking if it’s time to hang out (“No,” I have to reply, “that would be in about 5 hours, it’s only 12”). And when it’s time for me to get home there are even a couple who want to hang out a bit longer. They insist we take another cruisin’ session and turn up the hip-hop for a bit longer. I go home full of joy on days like those.
So what is God teaching me from these joys and trials? A few things stick out:
- Get there. For me this means showing up at their house each Monday at 4:30. This is probably one of the biggest obstacles for me. However, it’s not so much the activities I plan or the what new fast food joint I think of to visit, so much as being consistent in showing up. It pains and convicts me that they notice more than I when a week is missed.
- Keep asking questions. They want to know that I’m interested in their lives. I often feel out of my element when trying to be outgoing and inquisitive about anything and everything going on in their lives. But eventually they begin to answer the questions with more than one or two word answers and I end up being blown away by their thoughts on the last Kids Club lesson or the latest challenge they face at school or home.
- Pray. I find myself convicted time and time again about the importance of praying for these kids. It is not my job to save them, and if I go on my own steam I’ll grind to a halting stop very quickly. If I pour my energy and time into them, but the Holy Spirit isn’t working behind, through, and ahead of me, my efforts will surely fail. Prayer puts myself and the kids back in God’s hands.
Unless the LORD builds a house,the work of the builders is useless (Psalm 127:1).